it's great music for shaving your balls
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
