And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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