My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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