Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
