youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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