I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
