I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Life is so much better after having sex.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize