Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
