I have demons in me.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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