I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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