That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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