Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
