so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
