And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
