Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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