Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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