we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
