PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
