i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize