Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
