I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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