I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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