you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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