All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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