i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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