Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
How naked do you want me to be?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
