Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
