Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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