He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
