You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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