never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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