Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
