We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
