I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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