Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
