I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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