ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
