Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
