so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
