Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
