Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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