Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
