those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
