He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize