On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You did what with his pubic hair?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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