You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize