Yo dont text me then not text me
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
