Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
