DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
