Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize