Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
