I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
