just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
