What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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