I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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