Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
