I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
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