I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
