u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
