why didn't you poke me back
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
