At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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