just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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