She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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