guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize