I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
