It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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