So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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