please come you make the beer taste better
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I want her autograph on my taint
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
