But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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