you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
And then my night got REAL pukey
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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