hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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