Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize