my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
