i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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