so explain again why im purple
no
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
